Single Life · 13 min read
Embracing Your Solo Summer: How to Thrive in Your Own Company
Summer often conjures images of couples on vacation, but this year, it's your time to shine, single and independent. Discover how to make this season your most fulfilling yet by focusing on self-discovery and joy.

Dr. Jessica Sterling · August 2, 2023
Our take
Summer has a way of turning up the heat on societal expectations, often making single women feel like they’re waiting for their "plus one" to arrive before the real fun can begin. But honestly, ladies, that narrative is as outdated as dial-up internet. This season, and every season, is your opportunity to author your own vibrant story, independently and unapologetically. It’s about building a life so rich and fulfilling that any future partner would be an amazing addition to your already fabulous world, not the prerequisite for it.
Key takeaways
- Summer often paints a picture of sun-kissed couples strolling along beaches or enjoying romantic getaways.
- The notion that grand adventures require a travel buddy or a romantic partner is a myth we’re ready to bust.
- In a relationship, a significant amount of energy, time, and emotional bandwidth is naturally dedicated to nurturing that connection.
- Being single does not equate to being alone.
Embracing Your Solo Summer: Your Season to Truly Shine
Summer often paints a picture of sun-kissed couples strolling along beaches or enjoying romantic getaways. For many single women, this can sometimes trigger a subtle sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) or a feeling of being on pause while the world moves forward. But what if we flipped that script entirely? What if this summer, instead of feeling like a season to wait for something, became your most dynamic, self-affirming, and utterly joyful chapter yet?
Dr. Jessica Sterling, a respected voice in personal well-being, insightfully points out that this year can be "your year of thriving solo." Her perspective, originally shared on Psychology Today, challenges us to reframe singleness not as a transitional period, but as a powerful state of being ripe with opportunity for self-discovery and unparalleled personal growth. At Next Boyfriend, we believe this isn't just a philosophy; it's a strategic approach to building a life so rich and resilient, you become the heroine of your own story, regardless of your relationship status. Let’s dive into how you can make this solo summer your most fulfilling yet.
Mastering the Art of Solo Adventures
The notion that grand adventures require a travel buddy or a romantic partner is a myth we’re ready to bust. As Dr. Sterling suggests, summer is a prime time for travel and new experiences, and being single doesn't mean you miss out. In fact, it means you gain an incredible superpower: the freedom to craft adventures perfectly tailored to your desires, without compromise. Imagine waking up and deciding, purely on impulse, to spend a weekend glamping under the stars, exploring a charming new city you’ve always wanted to visit, or dedicating concentrated time to a passion project that lights you up.
This isn't just about ticking off a bucket list; it's about building confidence, resilience, and a deeper understanding of who you are when you're the sole captain of your ship. Solo travel, even if it's just a day trip, forces you to rely on yourself, make decisions independently, and navigate new environments, all of which are incredibly empowering. You learn to trust your instincts, solve problems on the fly, and truly savor moments of solitude. Practical steps include:
- Start Small: Begin with a solo museum visit, a movie, or dinner at your favorite restaurant.
- Plan with Intention: Research destinations that genuinely excite you. Consider safety, read reviews, and share your itinerary with a trusted friend or family member.
- Embrace the Unknown: Be open to spontaneous detours, conversations with locals, and unforeseen discoveries. These often become the most cherished memories.
- Document Your Journey: Whether through journaling, photography, or simply reflecting, acknowledge your courage and growth.
The Power of Intentional Self-Care When You're Flying Solo
In a relationship, a significant amount of energy, time, and emotional bandwidth is naturally dedicated to nurturing that connection. When you're flying solo, as Dr. Sterling points out, this energy can be powerfully redirected inward. This isn't about being selfish; it's about intelligent self-investment. This summer, make radical self-care a non-negotiable priority, understanding that true self-care extends far beyond a luxurious bubble bath. It’s about cultivating habits that nourish your mind, body, and soul, building a robust inner world that serves as your unshakeable foundation.
This redirection of energy allows for a deeper dive into understanding your needs, boundaries, and sources of joy. It’s an opportunity to establish routines that prioritize your well-being, fostering a stronger sense of self and remarkable resilience. Consider these pillars of intentional self-care:
- Mindfulness & Mental Clarity: Establish a consistent meditation practice, even if it's just 10 minutes a day. Journaling can help process emotions and gain clarity.
- Physical Nourishment: Beyond adequate sleep and nutrition, engage in movement that feels good to your body – be it yoga, hiking, dancing, or lifting weights. Schedule regular check-ups with doctors and dentists.
- Emotional Intelligence: Understand your triggers, practice healthy coping mechanisms, and don't shy away from professional support like therapy if needed. This time can be invaluable for inner healing and growth.
- Creative Outlets: Reconnect with hobbies you love or explore new ones. Paint, write, play music, garden – engage in activities that allow for self-expression and bring you pure joy.
By prioritizing these aspects, you build a profound sense of self-worth and equip yourself with the tools to navigate any challenge, creating a powerful inner sanctuary that is entirely yours.
Cultivating Your Found Family: The Importance of Your Tribe
Being single does not equate to being alone. This season presents a golden opportunity to actively nurture your existing friendships and proactively seek out new connections. Your "tribe" – that vibrant network of chosen family and supportive friends – is a vital source of laughter, wisdom, and belonging. It provides a robust safety net and a constant reminder of the love and connection that already exists in your life, wholly independent of a romantic partner.
As Dr. Sterling emphasizes, a strong social network is crucial for happiness. It diversifies your emotional support system, offering different perspectives and reducing the pressure on any single individual (including a potential future partner) to fulfill all your needs. Here’s how to actively cultivate your tribe:
- Be the Initiator: Don’t wait for invitations; organize those dinner parties, brunch dates, or weekend hikes. Take the lead in planning memorable gatherings.
- Join Communities: Engage with groups centered around your interests – a book club, a volunteer organization, a running group, or a pottery class. These are natural avenues for meeting like-minded individuals.
- Be a Present Friend: Show up for your friends, truly listen, and offer support when they need it. Reciprocity is key to deep, lasting connections.
- Expand Your Circles: Be open to new people and experiences. Say "yes" to invitations outside your usual routine, and actively seek out diverse perspectives.
A thriving social life not only enriches your current existence but also prepares you for any future relationship by ensuring you bring a full, connected self to the table.
Reframing Singleness: From 'Waiting' to 'Living'
Perhaps one of the most profound shifts Dr. Sterling advocates for is moving away from the "waiting phase" that many single women unwittingly find themselves in. This "waiting" often manifests as postponing dreams, delaying joy, or feeling that your life won't truly begin until a partner arrives. This August, and every month, we’re urging you to dismantle that narrative entirely. Your worth is not, and never will be, determined by your relationship status. Your life is brimming with potential, purpose, and joy right now.
Embracing the present moment means recognizing the richness and validity of your current life, celebrating your autonomy, and investing fully in the person you are today. It’s about understanding that your happiness is not an outcome of a relationship, but an internal state cultivated by intentional living.
- Identify Waiting Behaviors: Are you putting off buying a home, traveling, or pursuing a passion project because you're waiting for a partner? Challenge these assumptions.
- Invest in Your Dreams: If you've always wanted to learn a new language, start a business, or get a certification, this is your time to dive in. Your aspirations are valid, with or without a partner.
- Cultivate Daily Joy: Find pleasure in the small things – your morning coffee, a good book, a walk in nature. Don't defer your happiness to a future event.
- Celebrate Your Milestones: Acknowledge your personal achievements, no matter how small. Every step forward in your solo journey is a victory.
When you live fully in the present, you transform from someone waiting for life to happen to you, to someone actively creating the life you desire. This mindset shift is incredibly attractive and empowering, whether you remain single or eventually invite a partner into your vibrant world.
The Gift of Uninterrupted Self-Discovery
One of the most profound, often unsung, benefits of being single is the uninterrupted space it provides for radical self-discovery. When you're not constantly navigating another person's needs, desires, and schedules, you have an unparalleled opportunity to truly delve into your own inner landscape. This isn't just about "finding yourself"; it's about meticulously mapping out your values, understanding your deepest desires, identifying your non-negotiables, and solidifying your personal boundaries.
Use this time to:
- Define Your Values: What truly matters to you? Is it creativity, freedom, security, adventure, connection? Understanding your core values acts as a compass for all your life choices.
- Explore Your Passions: Revisit old hobbies, or pick up entirely new ones. Learn to paint, code, speak a new language, or master a culinary skill. These activities are not just time-fillers; they are avenues for joy, mastery, and self-expression.
- Understand Your Attachment Style: Reflect on past relationships and your patterns of connection. Do you tend towards anxious, avoidant, or secure attachment? This insight is invaluable for future relationships, but more importantly, for understanding your own emotional needs.
- Journal Deeply: Ask yourself the hard questions: What makes me feel truly alive? What kind of legacy do I want to build? What does my ideal day look like, regardless of who is in it?
This period of introspection isn't selfish; it's foundational. It empowers you to build a life aligned with your authentic self, ensuring that any future relationships are built on a bedrock of self-awareness and mutual respect, rather than codependency or a desire for completion.
Crafting Your Vision Board: Beyond Romance
Many vision boards are filled with images of dream weddings, happy couples, and family life. While these aspirations are beautiful and valid, let's create a "Next Boyfriend" vision board that centers you. This is about dreaming big for your individual life – your career, your personal growth, your friendships, your adventures, your financial independence, and your overall well-being.
Take time to visualize:
- Career Growth: What professional milestones do you want to achieve? What skills do you want to acquire?
- Personal Development: What new habits do you want to form? What books do you want to read? What emotional challenges do you want to overcome?
- Financial Freedom: What are your savings goals? What investments do you want to make? How do you envision your financial future, independently?
- Adventure & Exploration: Where do you want to travel? What new experiences do you want to try?
- Health & Wellness: What does your ideal health routine look like? How do you want to feel in your body?
This solo vision board is a powerful declaration of self-love and ambition, cementing the idea that your life is rich and full of purpose on its own terms. It helps you focus on what you can control and actively build, rather than passively waiting for external forces to shape your destiny.
The Joy of Solo Dining and Entertainment
For some, the idea of dining alone or going to a movie by oneself can feel daunting, even a bit lonely. However, we challenge you to reframe this as an exquisite act of self-indulgence and confidence. Eating out alone, attending a concert, or visiting a gallery unaccompanied offers a unique kind of freedom and presence. There’s no pressure to make conversation, no need to compromise on choice, just pure, unadulterated enjoyment of the experience.
- Embrace the Ambiance: Notice the decor, the music, the subtle interactions around you.
- Bring a Companion (Optional): A good book, a journal, or headphones for a favorite podcast can be excellent companions. Or simply savor the silence and people-watching.
- Be Present: Taste every bite, absorb every note, immerse yourself fully in the moment.
- Dress Up (or Down): Choose an outfit that makes you feel good, not one intended to impress someone else.
These solo outings are not just about doing things alone; they're about proving to yourself that your happiness is not dependent on external company. They build an inner strength and confidence that radiates outwards, making you an even more magnetic individual.
Redefining Success and Happiness on Your Own Terms
Society has long fed us a narrow definition of success for women, often tying it inextricably to romantic partnership and motherhood. While these paths are beautiful for those who choose them, they are not the only paths, nor are they a prerequisite for a full and meaningful life. This solo summer is your invitation to boldly redefine what success and happiness mean for you.
Perhaps your success looks like:
- A thriving career that brings you immense satisfaction and financial independence.
- Deep, meaningful friendships that enrich your life immeasurably.
- Personal growth that involves overcoming fears, learning new skills, or cultivating inner peace.
- A commitment to a cause that makes a tangible difference in the world.
- Adventures that take you across continents or simply deep into your own passions.
- A profound sense of self-acceptance and authentic self-love.
Your happiness is a tapestry woven from myriad threads, and you are the sole designer. By intentionally focusing on these elements, you construct a life that is deeply satisfying and authentic, regardless of your relationship status. You become the woman who is not just waiting for her story to begin, but is actively, joyfully, and powerfully living it right now.
Your Radiant, Unapologetic Solo Journey
This summer, inspired by the wisdom of Dr. Jessica Sterling and the empowering ethos of Next Boyfriend, is not just a season; it's a declaration. It’s a declaration that your single life is not a void to be filled, but a vibrant canvas ready for your masterpiece. It’s about understanding that the love you seek in another person is first and foremost available within yourself, waiting to be unleashed through intentional self-care, brave adventures, strong friendships, and a powerful shift in perspective.
So, dear reader, embrace your solo summer. Dive deep into self-discovery, cherish your tribe, embark on thrilling solo adventures, and boldly redefine what it means to live a rich, full, and unapologetically joyful life. Your worth is inherent, your potential is limitless, and your ability to thrive, solo and magnificent, is utterly undeniable. This isn't just a year; it's your year to shine.
Questions about Single Life
Is being single bad for your health?
Older studies claiming a partnership benefit largely failed to separate marriage from social connection and income. More recent work finds the health signal is social support and financial stability, both of which single people can and do have.
How do I deal with pressure from family about being single?
Short, warm, repeated answers work better than justifications. A brief line delivered the same way each time removes the reward of a reaction, and explaining yourself in detail invites negotiation about a decision that is not up for negotiation.
How do you know if you are single by choice?
Ask whether you are declining specific people for specific reasons, or declining everyone in advance. Choice looks like turning down a real option; avoidance looks like never having one.
Keep reading
- Guide: Rebuilding Self-Worth: How to Stop Settling and Start Choosing
- Guide: The Intentional Dating Guide: How to Date with Purpose, Not Just Hope

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