284 articles
Most fights are not about the thing you are fighting about.
Decades of observational research on couples point to the same conclusion: it is not whether you fight but how. John Gottman's work identified four patterns — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — that predict relationship breakdown with unsettling accuracy, and contempt is the strongest single predictor.
The corresponding skills are learnable. A soft start-up to a complaint changes how the entire conversation goes. Repair attempts — a joke, an apology, a hand on the arm mid-argument — matter more than the argument itself. And a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions is the observed marker of couples who last.
Marshall Rosenberg's nonviolent communication offers a complementary structure: observation, feeling, need, request. It sounds stilted the first few times, and then it becomes the fastest route to being understood.
Communication Skills
You need a way through the gridlock, and a Certified Gottman Therapist can help you move from stalemate to dialogue and reconnect around the dreams underneath.
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Communication Skills
In his book “The Relationship Cure,” Dr. John Gottman says, “a full 69 percent of all marital conflicts never go away.” These perpetual problems are any issues ...
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
Are Facebook and Instagram like cigarettes? Like Doritos chips? Like the slot machines in a casino? Humans love an analogy. I sure wanted one to help process yesterday’s news that…
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Communication Skills
Couples frequently come to session focused on communication tools. They want worksheets, the 'I' statements, active listening scripts, strategic timeouts ...
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Communication Skills
Managing conflict in the Sound Relationship House is defined as Accepting Your Partner's Influence, Dialoguing About Problems, and Practicing Self-Soothing.
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Communication Skills
Brittany Boltinhouse's family released a statement about her being dethroned as Miss North Carolina USA.
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
2 Relationship Skills Every Partner Should Master Two skills that can take a relationship from surviving to thriving. - Find a therapist to strengthen relationships 1…
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
Try the Gottman Relationship Adviser or the Dealing with Conflict Coach for help. what you're feeling, then state a positive need. Drs John and Julie Gottman. ...
Summary of Gottman · 13 min read
Communication Skills
Your go-to self-help tool for all relationship needs; conflict, intimacy, and connection. Built on the trusted Gottman Method, it's perfect for couples and ...
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
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Communication Skills
The check-in is great for relationships but they can feel awkward. Here is a formula for an effective relationship check-in, one that will feel good.
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Communication Skills
There are four communication patterns that predict whether a couple will stay together or break up: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Summary of Gottman · 11 min read
Communication Skills
The antidotes to contempt · Short-term: Describe your feelings and needs · Long-term: Build a culture of fondness and admiration.
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Communication Skills
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Criticism (attacking character rather than behaviour), contempt (mockery, eye-rolling, superiority), defensiveness (counter-attack or victimhood), and stonewalling (shutting down and withdrawing). Contempt is the most corrosive and the strongest single predictor of separation.
Start complaints softly and specifically, describe behaviour rather than character, name your own feeling and the need behind it, make one concrete request, and take a genuine twenty-minute break when either person is physiologically flooded.
Any gesture that de-escalates mid-conflict — humour, an apology, physical touch, or naming the spiral out loud. Couples who last are not the ones who avoid conflict; they are the ones whose repair attempts get accepted.