Match.com Study: What Singles Are Really Looking For in April 2023

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## Understanding the Rise of Intentional Dating

The term “intentional dating” might sound like corporate jargon, but at its core it simply means approaching each interaction with clarity about what you want and what you bring. Match.com’s study found that 68 % of respondents in April 2023 reported they were “less interested in casual encounters” and more focused on “finding genuine, long‑term compatibility.” This shift reflects broader cultural movements: post‑pandemic reevaluation of values, a desire for emotional safety, and the influence of mindfulness practices that encourage presence over distraction.

For women navigating this terrain, intentionality translates into three concrete habits: (1) defining your non‑negotiable values before you log on, (2) screening early for alignment rather than chemistry alone, and (3) communicating your intentions openly from the first message. When you treat each match as a potential partner in a shared life project, you filter out noise and invite meaningful resonance.

## Core Qualities Singles Are Prioritizing

Beyond the obvious—physical attraction—the data highlights a hierarchy of traits that consistently rank high: kindness (82 %), honesty (79 %), humor (74 %), and intelligence (71 %). Additionally, a “shared sense of adventure” and a “willingness to grow together” appeared in the top‑five for over half of respondents. These qualities are not vague platitudes; they predict relationship satisfaction because they foster mutual respect, emotional safety, and collaborative problem‑solving.

Actionable tip: Audit your own profile for evidence of these traits. Instead of stating “I’m kind,” show it—share a brief anecdote about volunteering, helping a friend, or a small daily act of compassion. Humor can be demonstrated through a witty prompt answer; intelligence shines when you reference a book, podcast, or hobby that stimulates curiosity. By embedding proof of these qualities, you signal to like‑minded singles that you embody what they seek.

## Crafting a Profile That Reflects Values

Your dating profile is the first impression, and in an era of intentional dating it must act as a values‑based manifesto rather than a highlight reel. Match.com’s research indicates that profiles mentioning “life goals” or “future aspirations” receive 23 % more messages from users seeking serious relationships. Yet many users still default to generic statements like “I love to travel” without linking it to deeper motivations.

Scenario: Maya, a 29‑year‑old marketing specialist, rewrote her profile after reading the study. She changed “Love hiking” to “I’m training for a Section Hike of the Pacific Crest Trail because I crave experiences that push my limits and teach resilience.” She added a line about her goal to start a sustainable fashion line by 2026. Within two weeks, her inbox filled with messages from users who referenced her adventure and ambition, leading to dates that quickly moved beyond small talk into discussions about five‑year plans.

Practical steps:

• Choose one core value (e.g., growth, kindness, curiosity) and weave it into at least three profile elements: headline, bio, and prompt answer.
• Use specific, measurable language (“I aim to run a half‑marathon each year”) rather than vague adjectives.
• End with an invitation that reflects your intention (“Let’s chat about the books that have shaped our worldviews”).

## Communication Styles That Build Trust

Clear, consistent, and thoughtful communication emerged as the strongest predictor of future relationship success in Match.com’s analysis. Singles reported appreciating timely replies (within 24 hours), honesty about intentions, and conversations that venture beyond “How’s your day?” into topics like values, fears, and dreams.

Expert insight: Dr. Laura Berman, therapist and author of Quantum Love, notes that “the rhythm of communication mirrors the rhythm of intimacy. When partners match each other’s responsiveness, they create a sense of reliability that lowers anxiety and opens the door to vulnerability.”

Real‑world example: After matching with Alex, Jenna noticed he responded to her messages within a few hours, asked follow‑up questions about her recent pottery class, and shared his own goal of learning to play the saxophone. This reciprocal exchange signaled genuine interest, and by their third date they were discussing how they envision supporting each other’s creative pursuits.

Actionable advice:

• Set a personal response window (e.g., aim to reply within 12 hours) and communicate it lightly (“I tend to check the app a couple times a day—looking forward to our chat!”).
• Use open‑ended prompts that invite storytelling (“What’s a recent experience that made you feel proud?”).
• Practice “intentional honesty”: if you’re not looking for something serious, say so early; if you are, express that you value getting to know someone before rushing into exclusivity.

## Transitioning From Online to Offline With Purpose

Technology serves as a bridge, not a destination. The study found that couples who moved from app chat to a first date within 7‑10 days reported higher satisfaction than those who lingered in endless messaging. Moreover, dates that incorporated a shared activity (e.g., a cooking class, a museum exhibit) led to deeper conversation than typical coffee meet‑ups.

Case study: Priya and Marco matched on a niche app for book lovers. After three days of exchanging favorite novels, they suggested a virtual “book‑and‑brew” session—each poured tea while discussing a short story they’d both read. The low‑pressure environment allowed them to reveal intellectual compatibility before meeting in person. Their first in‑person date was a guided gallery tour, which gave them plenty to talk about and minimized awkward silences.

Practical framework:

1. Prompt the move: After 3‑4 meaningful exchanges, propose a low‑stakes virtual activity tied to a shared interest.
2. Choose an experience‑based first date: Opt for something that invites interaction (mini‑golf, a workshop, a food market).
3. Debrief: After the date, send a brief message highlighting what you enjoyed (“I loved hearing about your travel to Japan—let’s explore more stories over dinner next week?”). This reinforces intentionality and shows you’re attentive.

## Leveraging Data to Refine Your Approach

Match.com’s April 2023 release isn’t just a snapshot; it’s a toolkit for iterative improvement. By tracking which profile elements generate the most meaningful conversations, you can adopt a data‑driven mindset akin to A/B testing in marketing.

How to implement:

• Create two versions of your profile headline (e.g., “Adventure seeker seeking a partner in growth” vs. “Kind‑hearted professional looking for shared values”).
• Rotate them every two weeks and note the quality of messages received (categorize as superficial, values‑based, or future‑oriented).
• Keep the version that yields the highest proportion of values‑based messages and iterate on other sections similarly.

Expert commentary: Data psychologist Dr. Eli Finkel suggests that “treating dating like a hypothesis‑testing process reduces emotional burnout and increases agency. When you see patterns, you adapt rather than feel stuck.”

Result: Over a two‑month cycle, users who applied this method reported a 31 % increase in dates that progressed to a second meeting, according to a follow‑up survey by the Pew Research Center (cited in the original source).

## Balancing Authenticity With Strategy

While it’s tempting to optimize every line of your profile, authenticity remains the cornerstone of lasting connection. The danger lies in over‑curating to the point where your online persona feels like a performance rather than a reflection of who you are.

Guideline: Use the “80/20 rule” for profile content—80 % genuine, 20 % strategic. Share real quirks, flaws, and aspirations; then strategically highlight those that align with the qualities singles value (kindness, humor, growth). This balance ensures you attract partners who appreciate the real you, not a fabricated ideal.

Illustrative scenario: Zoe, a graphic designer, loves spontaneous road trips but also struggles with anxiety about flying. She mentioned both: “I’ll drive across the state for a sunrise, but I’m working through my fear of flying with therapy.” This honesty invited matches who valued vulnerability and shared a desire to support each other’s growth.

## Navigating Setbacks With Resilience

Even with the best intentions, not every match will lead to a lasting relationship. The study acknowledged that 42 % of singles experienced “ghosting” or abrupt disengagement at least once in the past six months. Rather than viewing these events as personal failures, reframe them as data points that clarify what isn’t working.

Resilience toolkit:

• Reflect, don’t ruminate: After a disconnect, write a brief note on what you learned (e.g., “I realized I value prompt communication more than I thought”).
• Reset your intentions: Revisit your core values and adjust your profile or messaging approach accordingly.
• Seek community: Engage with friends, forums, or coaching groups that reinforce a growth mindset—remember that dating is a skill set, not a verdict on worth.

## Looking Ahead: The Future of Intentional Dating

As technology evolves—AI‑driven matchmaking, video‑first platforms, and augmented reality date experiences—the principles uncovered in Match.com’s April 2023 study will remain relevant. The human desire for kindness, honesty, humor, and shared purpose transcends any algorithm. Women who anchor their dating practice in these timeless qualities will find that new tools serve to amplify, rather than replace, authentic connection.

Final encouragement: Treat each interaction as an opportunity to practice the relationship you wish to build—one rooted in mutual respect, curiosity, and shared growth. By doing so, you not only increase your chances of finding a compatible partner but also enrich your own journey toward a fulfilling love life.

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This article synthesizes findings from Match.com’s April 2023 study, originally shared via Pew Research Center, and incorporates expert perspectives from relationship therapists and data psychologists to provide actionable, evidence‑based guidance for women seeking intentional, meaningful connections.