Single Life · 17 min read
Reconnecting with Yourself: January's Guide to Solo Adventures
The start of the year is a perfect time to embark on solo adventures, big or small. This article inspires single women to explore the world and their own capabilities through independent travel and experiences.

Isabelle Dubois · January 30, 2021
Our take
Forget the notion that being single means waiting for someone else to complete your adventure. At Next Boyfriend, we believe your most profound relationship should always be with yourself, and there's no better way to deepen that bond than through the sheer, exhilarating freedom of solo travel. This isn't just about seeing new places; it's about claiming your independence, sharpening your intuition, and discovering an unshakeable confidence that makes you an irresistible force – both to yourself and, when the time is right, to your next truly deserving partner. Your journey of self-discovery is the sexiest story you'll ever tell.
Key takeaways
- In a world constantly pushing narratives of coupled bliss, it’s easy to feel like something is missing if you’re navigating life’s grand journey on your own.
- As Isabelle Dubois highlighted, solo travel offers unparalleled opportunities for self-discovery and independence.
- Dubois's original article rightly identifies January as an ideal time to plan a solo trip, from fewer crowds to more affordable options.
- Planning your perfect solo getaway, whether it's a weekend road trip or a longer international adventure, requires thoughtful consideration.
Your Best Relationship Starts with You: The Power of Solo Adventures
In a world constantly pushing narratives of coupled bliss, it’s easy to feel like something is missing if you’re navigating life’s grand journey on your own. But what if "single" wasn't a waiting room, but an open road? What if this season of your life was the ultimate invitation to fall madly, deeply, unapologetically in love with the most fascinating person you know: yourself? This is the core philosophy that underpins the advice offered by Isabelle Dubois on Glamour, suggesting that the start of the year, or any turning point, is the perfect time for single women to embark on solo adventures, big or small. At Next Boyfriend, we couldn't agree more. Reconnecting with yourself isn't just a trendy phrase; it's the bedrock of a fulfilling life, and an indispensable prerequisite for healthy, vibrant relationships when they do come along.
Solo adventures offer unparalleled opportunities for self-discovery, independence, and a profound sense of accomplishment. They strip away the expectations and compromises that come with group travel, leaving you with nothing but your own desires, your own pace, and your own burgeoning confidence. Think of it not as a gap to fill, but as a canvas to paint, solely for you. This commitment to self is a powerful statement, telling the universe – and any potential future partners – that you are a woman who knows her worth, charts her own course, and doesn't need external validation to thrive.
The Transformative Magic of Unaccompanied Journeys
As Isabelle Dubois highlighted, solo travel offers unparalleled opportunities for self-discovery and independence. But what does "transformative" truly mean in this context? It means shedding layers of who you thought you were or who you were expected to be. Without a partner or friend to bounce ideas off, to lean on for decisions, or to share the responsibility, you are entirely in charge. Every logistical puzzle, every missed turn, every delightful surprise becomes your personal triumph or lesson. This process rapidly builds self-efficacy – the belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. This isn't just about navigating a foreign city; it's about learning to trust your own judgment, listen to your own intuition, and adapt to the unexpected with grace and resilience.
The transformation isn't always dramatic; sometimes it's quiet, a subtle recalibration of your inner compass. You might discover a newfound patience with yourself, a daring streak you never knew existed, or a profound appreciation for solitude. You learn your true limits, but more importantly, you learn how often you can push past them. This deep dive into your own capabilities impacts every facet of your life, including how you approach future relationships. A woman who knows she can handle anything life throws at her, from a missed flight to a solo hike up a mountain, is a woman who won't settle for less than she deserves in love. She comes to a partnership as a whole, complete individual, not seeking someone to fill a void, but someone to share an already rich and exciting life.
Why January (and the Off-Season) is Your Secret Weapon
Dubois's original article rightly identifies January as an ideal time to plan a solo trip, from fewer crowds to more affordable options. This "off-season" advantage isn't just practical; it's symbolic. The start of the year carries the energy of fresh starts and new beginnings, aligning perfectly with the spirit of personal growth that solo travel ignites. While January is a great starting point, consider any "off-season" for your chosen destination as your strategic advantage.
- Fewer Crowds, Deeper Connections: Imagine wandering through a historic museum without a throng of tourists, or finding a quiet corner in a bustling café to simply observe. Fewer crowds mean more authentic experiences, more opportunities to interact with locals, and a greater sense of immersion. This quieter pace also allows for more internal reflection, making space for the self-discovery central to the solo journey.
- Affordability & Value: Travel costs often plummet outside of peak seasons. This means your budget stretches further, allowing for upgraded accommodations, more experiences, or simply longer stays. It’s an empowering feeling to know you’re getting more bang for your buck, a practical demonstration of smart self-investment.
- A "Clean Slate" Mentality: Kicking off a year or a new season with a solo adventure sets a powerful precedent. It’s a declaration that you are prioritizing your well-being and growth, rather than passively waiting for life to happen. This proactive approach bleeds into other areas, including your dating life, making you more intentional about who you invite into your orbit. It’s about being deliberate in creating the life you want, not just in travel, but in every choice.
Crafting Your Solo Odyssey: Practical Planning for Freedom
Planning your perfect solo getaway, whether it's a weekend road trip or a longer international adventure, requires thoughtful consideration. This isn't about rigid itineraries, but about laying a foundation that allows for both security and spontaneity.
Choosing Your Destination with Intention
Where do you truly want to go, and why?
- For Relaxation: Consider a beach retreat, a quiet cabin in the mountains, or a wellness spa where the focus is entirely on rejuvenation.
- For Adventure: Maybe a hiking trip, a surf camp, or exploring a vibrant city known for its outdoor activities.
- For Culture & History: European capitals, ancient ruins, or art-rich cities can provide endless opportunities for intellectual and emotional stimulation.
- For Self-Reflection: Sometimes a silent retreat or a remote natural setting is exactly what's needed to tune into your inner voice.
Factor in your comfort level with solo exploration. If you're new to solo travel, start with a destination that feels relatively familiar or has a strong tourist infrastructure. Places known for safety and solo-female travelers (like Iceland, New Zealand, Costa Rica, or many European cities) are excellent choices.
Budgeting for Your Personal Freedom
Financial independence is key to solo travel.
- Set a Realistic Budget: Research average costs for accommodation, food, transport, and activities in your chosen destination. Factor in a buffer for emergencies.
- Track Expenses: Use an app or a notebook to keep tabs on your spending. This awareness empowers you to make conscious choices.
- Look for Deals: Be flexible with your travel dates, sign up for flight alerts, and consider hostels with private rooms or boutique guesthouses which can be more affordable and offer community.
- Consider a Travel Credit Card: Some offer rewards, travel insurance, or no foreign transaction fees, which can be invaluable.
Prioritizing Safety: Your Non-Negotiable
Safety isn't about fear; it's about smart preparation that allows you to fully enjoy your freedom.
- Research Thoroughly: Understand local customs, common scams, and areas to avoid. Read reviews from other solo female travelers.
- Share Your Itinerary: Inform a trusted friend or family member of your travel plans, including flight details, accommodation, and daily activities. Check in regularly.
- Trust Your Gut: If a situation or person feels off, it probably is. Don't be afraid to remove yourself from uncomfortable situations.
- Local SIM Card/eSIM: Essential for navigation, communication, and emergencies.
- Emergency Contacts: Have local emergency numbers saved and know how to use them. Consider travel insurance.
- Blend In: Avoid flashy jewelry or overtly touristy behavior. Dress respectfully according to local norms.
- Secure Your Belongings: Use anti-theft bags, lock up valuables, and be aware of your surroundings in crowded areas.
Making the Most of Your Time Alone
This is where the magic happens.
- Embrace Solitude: Resist the urge to constantly fill your time with distractions. Allow for quiet moments of observation and reflection. Journaling can be a powerful tool for processing experiences and insights.
- Cultivate Self-Care: Prioritize sleep, healthy eating, and activities that truly recharge you.
- Learn a Few Local Phrases: Even basic greetings and "thank yous" can open doors and show respect.
- Be Present: Put down your phone. Look up. Engage with your surroundings. Take photos, but don't let the lens replace your eyes.
The Art of Serendipity: Opening Yourself to the Universe's Surprises
One of the greatest joys of solo travel is the freedom to be spontaneous, as noted by Dubois. When you travel with others, every decision – where to eat, what to see, when to move on – often involves negotiation. Alone, you are the sole arbiter of your day. This isn't just liberating; it's an exercise in listening to your own desires and impulses. You can linger longer in that charming bookstore, switch your dinner plans on a whim, or follow a compelling sound down an unknown alley. This freedom fosters a unique kind of openness, inviting serendipitous moments into your journey.
- Saying "Yes" (Wisely): A local invites you to a hidden market? A fellow traveler suggests an impromptu excursion? If it feels safe and aligns with your intuition, say yes! These are often the experiences that become the most cherished memories, the ones that truly connect you to the place and its people. This practice of "yes" can extend beyond travel, helping you become more adaptable and open to new experiences in your daily life, and even in future relationships.
- Wandering Without a Goal: Some of the best discoveries are made when you have no particular destination in mind. Allow yourself to get a little bit lost (safely, of course!). You might stumble upon a beautiful park, a street art masterpiece, or a cozy café that becomes your favorite spot. This teaches you to trust the journey and find beauty in the unexpected.
- Inviting Connection: While solo travel is about independence, it doesn't mean isolation. Strike up conversations with locals, fellow travelers at a shared meal, or bartenders. These interactions can lead to incredible recommendations, shared stories, and even lasting friendships. The ability to connect authentically with strangers is a powerful social skill that enhances all your relationships. Embracing serendipity isn't just about fun; it's about building comfort with the unknown, a vital skill for both life and love.
Discovering Your Inner Explorer: Unlocking Unshakeable Confidence
By stepping outside your comfort zone and navigating new environments independently, you build confidence and resilience. This section focuses on the personal growth that comes from these experiences, a growth that is profoundly attractive and empowering for your dating life. Every time you successfully navigate a foreign transit system, order a meal in a new language, or solve an unforeseen problem, you’re adding another brick to your wall of self-belief. Psychologists often refer to this as "mastery experiences" – accomplishments that significantly contribute to your sense of self-efficacy and confidence.
- Problem-Solving Prowess: Solo travel is a masterclass in problem-solving. From deciphering a foreign menu to rerouting a journey due to a cancelled train, you learn to think on your feet, adapt, and find solutions. This practical skill translates directly into daily life, making you more capable and less flustered by challenges, a trait that future partners will undoubtedly appreciate.
- Embracing Discomfort: Growth rarely happens within the confines of your comfort zone. Solo travel often pushes you into situations that are unfamiliar, challenging, or even slightly intimidating. By facing these moments and moving through them, you expand your capacity for resilience and learn that you are far stronger and more capable than you imagined. This willingness to embrace discomfort fosters immense personal growth.
- Redefining "Alone": Many women initially fear loneliness during solo travel. However, what most discover is a profound sense of solitude, which is distinct from loneliness. Solitude is a chosen state, a rich space for introspection, creativity, and self-connection. You learn to enjoy your own company, to become your own best friend and conversationalist. This is perhaps the most crucial lesson for healthy relationships: knowing you are complete on your own means you choose partners out of desire, not desperation. You bring a full cup to the table, rather than seeking to be filled.
The Micro-Adventure: Solo Exploration Closer to Home
You don't need to book a flight across the ocean to reap the benefits of solo exploration. The transformative power of independent experiences can be found right in your own backyard. For those who aren't ready for a big international trip, or simply want to integrate more self-discovery into their daily lives, consider "micro-adventures." These are short, local, and often low-cost escapades that offer similar opportunities for growth and self-connection.
- Solo Dining: Take yourself out to a nice restaurant you've always wanted to try. Bring a book, journal, or simply enjoy the art of people-watching. It's a powerful act of self-care and a chance to truly savor a meal without distraction.
- Explore a New Neighborhood: Pick a part of your city you rarely visit. Walk around, pop into shops, visit a local park, or grab a coffee. Observe the different architecture, the vibe, the people. It’s like being a tourist without leaving town.
- Day Trip to a Nearby Town or Park: Hop on a train or drive to a charming small town, a national park, or a scenic area a couple of hours away. Explore the local attractions, go for a hike, or simply enjoy the change of scenery.
- Attend a Class or Workshop Alone: Sign up for a pottery class, a cooking workshop, a dance lesson, or a photography walk. You'll meet new people, learn a new skill, and push your comfort zone – all independently.
- Visit a Museum or Art Gallery: Spend an afternoon wandering through exhibits at your own pace, stopping to contemplate pieces that resonate with you, without feeling rushed or having to compromise with someone else's interests.
The essence is the same: putting yourself in a new, stimulating environment and relying on your own senses and decisions. These micro-adventures build confidence, ignite curiosity, and remind you that your personal growth journey is always accessible, regardless of your budget or vacation days.
Coming Home: Integrating Your Newfound Self
The solo adventure doesn't end when you step off the plane or pull into your driveway. The true test, and deepest reward, lies in how you integrate your newfound self into your everyday life. You've climbed mountains, navigated foreign streets, and embraced the unknown – don't let that confident, adaptable, self-reliant woman fade back into old patterns.
- Maintain the Momentum: Keep a journal, review your photos, and reflect on the lessons learned. What did you discover about yourself? What skills did you acquire? How can you apply that courage and adaptability to challenges at work, with friends, or in your dating life?
- Protect Your Boundaries: You've learned to advocate for yourself and prioritize your needs on the road. Bring that same assertiveness back home. Say no to things that don't serve you, and make space for what truly matters.
- Share Your Story (When You're Ready): Don't just recount anecdotes; share the impact of your experiences. "I realized I'm incredibly resourceful," or "I learned how much I enjoy my own company," are far more powerful than just "I saw a cool waterfall." This helps solidify your growth and inspires others.
- Continue Self-Nourishment: The self-care routines you adopted while traveling – long walks, healthy meals, quiet reflection – are just as important at home. Prioritize activities that replenish your spirit, whether it's reading, hiking, or simply enjoying a cup of tea in solitude. This commitment to your well-being sends a clear message about your self-worth.
By consciously integrating your travel insights, you ensure that the transformation isn't temporary but becomes a permanent, enriching part of who you are. This deepened sense of self is the most attractive quality you can cultivate, setting the stage for truly meaningful connections.
Beyond the Romance: Your Ultimate Relationship Goal
At Next Boyfriend, we believe that the journey to finding a fulfilling relationship isn't about chasing love; it's about becoming the most incredible, self-actualized version of yourself. Solo adventures are one of the most potent tools in your arsenal for achieving this. Isabelle Dubois’s original insights on Glamour underscore that these experiences are about “reconnecting with yourself” – and that reconnection is foundational.
When you embark on solo trips, whether to a faraway land or a local park, you are making a powerful declaration: "I am enough." You learn to rely on your inner compass, to trust your judgment, and to find joy in your own company. This isn't just a feel-good exercise; it fundamentally shifts your relationship with yourself, and by extension, with others.
A woman who has embraced solo adventures is:
- More Confident: She knows her capabilities and isn't easily swayed by external opinions.
- More Resilient: She can navigate challenges and setbacks with grace, knowing she's overcome bigger obstacles.
- More Interesting: Her stories are rich with real-world experiences, and her perspective is broadened by diverse encounters.
- More Self-Aware: She understands her own needs, desires, and boundaries, making her better equipped to articulate them in a relationship.
- Less Desperate: She doesn't need a partner to feel complete; she chooses one because they enhance an already vibrant life.
This journey isn't a detour from your dating goals; it's the express lane. You're not just exploring the world; you're building the foundation for a relationship where you bring your whole, magnificent self to the table, ready to share an adventure, not to be rescued from the waiting room of single life.
Your Journey, Your Rules: The Invitation to Explore
The call to embark on solo adventures, first highlighted by Isabelle Dubois on Glamour, is more than a suggestion; it's an invitation to reclaim your narrative. The start of the year, or any moment you feel the whisper of wanderlust, is the perfect time to answer that call. Whether it's a grand international escapade or a quiet weekend exploring a new corner of your city, the benefits are profound and lasting.
You are the author of your own story, the director of your own film. By choosing to embrace solo adventures, you're not just taking a trip; you're investing in your most important relationship – the one with yourself. You're building a foundation of confidence, resilience, and self-awareness that will serve you in every aspect of your life, including attracting and sustaining the kind of healthy, passionate partnership you truly deserve. So, what are you waiting for? Your next great adventure, and perhaps your best self, awaits. Start planning, even if it's just a tiny step, because your journey, and your rules, begin now.
Questions about Single Life
Is being single bad for your health?
Older studies claiming a partnership benefit largely failed to separate marriage from social connection and income. More recent work finds the health signal is social support and financial stability, both of which single people can and do have.
How do I deal with pressure from family about being single?
Short, warm, repeated answers work better than justifications. A brief line delivered the same way each time removes the reward of a reaction, and explaining yourself in detail invites negotiation about a decision that is not up for negotiation.
How do you know if you are single by choice?
Ask whether you are declining specific people for specific reasons, or declining everyone in advance. Choice looks like turning down a real option; avoidance looks like never having one.
Keep reading
- Guide: Rebuilding Self-Worth: How to Stop Settling and Start Choosing
- Guide: The Intentional Dating Guide: How to Date with Purpose, Not Just Hope

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