Single Life · 12 min read
The Power of a Meaningful Friendship: More Rewarding Than You Think
August 2021 was a time when the importance of platonic connections became increasingly apparent. This article highlights how strong friendships can enrich your life and provide fulfillment, independent of romantic relationships.

Sarah Jenkins · August 31, 2021
Our take
Ladies, we live in a culture that often places romantic love on a pedestal, leading us to believe that true fulfillment hinges on finding "the one." But what if we told you that some of the most profound, life-affirming love you'll ever experience comes from the women in your corner, your ride-or-die besties? Investing in your platonic tribe isn't just a nice-to-have; it's a non-negotiable for a balanced, joyful life – making you a more confident, whole woman whether you're single, dating, or in a long-term partnership. Cultivating these powerful bonds is a true act of self-love, and frankly, it makes you an even better catch.
Key takeaways
- In the summer of 2021, as the world slowly began to open up, a quiet revolution was happening in our personal lives.
- The evolving social landscapes Jenkins mentioned, particularly evident in 2021, continue to shape how we interact.
- One of the most profound insights from Jenkins' original article is the concept of "platonic intimacy." This isn't just about sharing secrets or having fun; it's about a deep emotional connection that fosters vulnerabil…
- Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, from career setbacks and family challenges to the inevitable heartbreaks of dating.
The Unsung Heroes of Our Lives: Why Friendships Are Our Foundation
In the summer of 2021, as the world slowly began to open up, a quiet revolution was happening in our personal lives. After months of unprecedented isolation and shifting social norms, many of us realized with startling clarity the indispensable role our friendships played. It was a period, as Sarah Jenkins highlighted in her insightful piece for The Atlantic, where the importance of platonic connections became "increasingly apparent." Often overshadowed by the relentless pursuit of romantic love, our friendships are, in fact, the bedrock upon which much of our well-being and happiness rests. They are the consistent, unwavering forces that provide stability, comfort, and an unparalleled sense of belonging that no other relationship can fully replicate.
Think back to the moments when you truly felt seen, understood, or genuinely celebrated. Chances are, a significant portion of those memories involve a friend. These aren't just casual acquaintances; they are the people who know your history, witness your growth, and stand by you through thick and thin, often without the complex expectations or romantic entanglements that can sometimes accompany romantic partnerships. They offer a unique kind of love – one that is generous, resilient, and deeply personal, forming an essential cornerstone of a truly rich and fulfilling existence.
Navigating Modern Life: The Evolving Landscape of Connection
The evolving social landscapes Jenkins mentioned, particularly evident in 2021, continue to shape how we interact. In an increasingly digital world, where connections can feel superficial and fleeting, the value of deep, meaningful friendships has only amplified. We've all experienced the paradox of being "connected" to hundreds online, yet feeling isolated in our day-to-day lives. This context makes the intentional cultivation of an authentic inner circle not just beneficial, but crucial for our mental and emotional health.
Our fast-paced lives, career pressures, and the constant hum of external expectations can often lead us to deprioritize these vital relationships. We might tell ourselves we're "too busy" or that friends will "understand" if we don't have time. However, this neglect comes at a cost. Just as a plant needs regular watering and sunlight to thrive, our friendships require consistent attention and genuine presence to flourish. Reclaiming time for these connections isn't a luxury; it's a necessity for thriving in the demands of modern womanhood.
Decoding Platonic Intimacy: A Power Just as Potent as Romantic Love
One of the most profound insights from Jenkins' original article is the concept of "platonic intimacy." This isn't just about sharing secrets or having fun; it's about a deep emotional connection that fosters vulnerability, trust, and mutual understanding between friends. In a world obsessed with the fireworks of romance, platonic intimacy often goes unrecognized for its sheer power and fulfillment. Yet, it offers a distinct and equally vital form of love.
Platonic intimacy provides a safe harbor where you can be your authentic, unfiltered self without judgment or the pressure to perform. It's the friend who sees through your facade, calls you out when you need it, and holds space for your biggest fears and wildest dreams. This level of emotional connection allows for shared growth, as friends challenge each other, offer different perspectives, and celebrate individual journeys. It’s an intimate bond that enriches your understanding of the world and yourself, offering a unique mirror through which to reflect and evolve.
The Resilience Boost: Friends as Your Emotional Safety Net
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, from career setbacks and family challenges to the inevitable heartbreaks of dating. During these turbulent times, our friends transform into our most vital emotional safety net. They are the ones who show up with wine and tissues after a bad date, help you brainstorm a new job strategy, or simply sit with you in silence when words fail. This unwavering support is what strengthens our resilience and prevents us from feeling truly alone in our struggles.
Psychological research consistently demonstrates that strong social support networks are directly linked to better mental health outcomes, reduced stress, and even increased longevity. Friends provide perspective, validation, and practical assistance that can be invaluable during crises. They remind you of your worth when you forget it, cheer you on when you feel defeated, and provide the much-needed laughter that can mend a heavy heart. Leaning on your friends doesn't make you weak; it makes you wise and demonstrates a healthy understanding of interdependence.
Your Personal Cheerleading Squad: Celebrating Successes and Milestones
Beyond the challenges, friends are also our most enthusiastic cheerleaders and co-celebrators. The joy of a shared success, whether it's a promotion, a new relationship, or simply hitting a personal goal, is amplified when you have people who genuinely celebrate with you. These moments of collective joy are crucial for nurturing a sense of accomplishment and reinforcing self-worth.
Think of the exhilaration of telling your best friend exciting news and hearing their genuine excitement for you. This shared happiness validates your achievements and makes the journey feel more significant. In a competitive world, friends provide a space where you can let your guard down and simply bask in your wins, knowing they are truly happy for your prosperity. This mutual celebration fosters a deeper bond, creating a virtuous cycle of positive reinforcement and encouragement.
The Art of Cultivation: How to Nurture Your Inner Circle
Nurturing friendships isn't passive; it requires intentional effort, much like any other meaningful relationship. As Sarah Jenkins pointed out, "nurturing friendships requires effort and intentionality." This means actively investing your time, energy, and genuine self into these connections. It’s about showing up, not just when it’s convenient, but when it truly matters.
Practical Steps for Cultivation:
- Active Listening: Put down your phone, make eye contact, and truly hear what your friend is saying, both verbally and non-verbally. Ask follow-up questions and remember important details about their lives.
- Showing Up: Be present during celebrations, offer comfort during tough times, and simply be available for the mundane moments – the coffee dates, the grocery runs, the spontaneous walks.
- Vulnerability: Share your authentic self, your fears, and your dreams. True connection blossoms when we allow ourselves to be seen in our entirety.
- Mutual Support: Be a sounding board, offer practical help when you can, and always be ready to lift them up.
- Celebrating Each Other: Acknowledge their successes, big and small. Send a congratulatory text, plan a celebratory dinner, or simply tell them how proud you are.
- Scheduled Connection: In busy adult lives, sometimes friendship needs to be put on the calendar. Regular check-ins, whether it's a weekly call or a monthly dinner, can keep bonds strong.
Friendship Audit: Identifying Your "Uplifters" and "Drainers"
As we mature, it’s essential to conduct a "friendship audit." Not all friendships serve us equally, and some, unfortunately, can even be detrimental to our well-being. Jenkins’ advice to "invest in the people who uplift you and make you feel seen" is paramount. This means consciously identifying those who genuinely add value to your life and, conversely, recognizing those who consistently drain your energy.
An uplifter is someone who inspires you, supports your growth, listens without judgment, and genuinely celebrates your wins. A drainer, on the other hand, might constantly criticize, be overly competitive, only focus on their own problems, or leave you feeling depleted after every interaction. It's okay, and even necessary, to set boundaries with or gently distance yourself from friendships that no longer align with your highest good. Prioritizing your well-being means curating an inner circle that truly nourishes your spirit.
Friendship and Self-Worth: Why a Rich Friend Circle Makes You a Better Partner (or Single Woman)
Here's where the wisdom of investing in friendships profoundly intersects with your dating and romantic life, a core focus of Next Boyfriend. A woman with a strong, supportive circle of friends is, quite simply, a more confident, grounded, and attractive individual. Why? Because she derives a significant portion of her self-worth and happiness from diverse sources, rather than placing the entire burden on a romantic partner.
When you have fulfilling friendships, you approach dating from a place of abundance, not scarcity. You're less likely to settle for less than you deserve, less prone to codependency, and more resilient in the face of romantic disappointments. Your friends provide emotional ballast, keeping you from feeling desperate or incomplete when you're single, and offering an objective perspective when you're navigating the complexities of a new relationship. They remind you of who you are outside of your romantic identity, making you a more whole and discerning partner (or a gloriously content single woman).
The Single Woman's Superpower: Fullness Beyond the "Partner Gap"
For single women, the power of friendships is nothing short of a superpower. Society often implicitly, or explicitly, frames singleness as a temporary state, a waiting period until "the one" arrives. This narrative can leave single women feeling incomplete or "less than." However, as Jenkins touched upon, "the richness of a life well-lived is also found in the tapestry of our friendships," and this is especially true when navigating single life.
Friends fill a profound need for connection, intimacy, and love that is often wrongly assumed can only come from a romantic partner. They are your plus-ones for events, your travel companions, your late-night confidantes, and your chosen family. Embracing and celebrating these platonic bonds, particularly in August 2021 and continuing now, is "a powerful act of self-care and a testament to the diverse forms of love." A robust friend circle ensures that your life is vibrant and full, regardless of your romantic status, empowering you to thrive and pursue romantic connections from a place of strength and genuine desire, rather than perceived need.
Expanding Your Tribe: Strategies for Making New Meaningful Connections
As adults, forging new friendships can feel daunting, but it's entirely possible and deeply rewarding. Whether you've moved to a new city, gone through a life change, or simply want to broaden your horizons, actively seeking new connections is a powerful investment in your future happiness.
Actionable Strategies:
- Leverage Shared Interests: Join clubs, classes, sports leagues, or volunteer groups aligned with your passions. This provides an immediate common ground for connection.
- Utilize Your Existing Network: Tell your current friends you're looking to expand your social circle. "Friend dates" with their friends can be a low-pressure way to meet new people.
- Say "Yes" More Often: Accept invitations to social gatherings, even if you feel a bit hesitant. You never know who you might meet.
- Be Proactive: Don't wait for others to initiate. If you click with someone, suggest a coffee or activity.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Share a little about yourself, and be open to hearing about others. Authenticity attracts authenticity.
- Online Communities (with caution): While real-life connection is key, online groups centered around specific interests can be a starting point to meet people in your area.
When Friendships Evolve (or End): Navigating Change with Grace
Like all relationships, friendships are not static. They evolve as we grow, change locations, or enter different life stages. Some friendships may naturally fade due to distance or diverging paths, while others may require difficult conversations or even an intentional ending. Navigating these shifts with grace is another crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy friendship ecosystem.
It’s important to understand that not every friendship is meant to last forever, and that's okay. Some connections serve a specific purpose during a particular season of your life. Learning to release friendships that no longer serve you – or to accept when a friend has moved on – is a vital part of self-care and creating space for new, more aligned connections. Honesty, respect, and self-compassion are your best guides during these transitions.
A Tapestry of Love: Embracing All Forms of Connection
Ultimately, the message is clear: a truly rich and meaningful life is woven from a diverse tapestry of love. While romantic love holds a special place, it is not the sole determinant of our happiness. The profound, unwavering love we share with our friends enriches our lives in countless ways, offering unique perspectives, steadfast support, and boundless joy.
As we move forward from the period of reflection Sarah Jenkins highlighted, let us remember to actively cultivate and celebrate these platonic bonds. They are not merely supplemental to our romantic lives; they are fundamental to our entire well-being. Investing in your friendships is a powerful declaration of self-worth, an act of building resilience, and a testament to the beautiful, multifaceted nature of human connection.
Invest in Your Tribe, Invest in Yourself
The invitation is simple: look around you. Who are the women in your life who make you feel strong, seen, and celebrated? Who are the ones you can call on at 3 AM or share your biggest dreams with over a casual brunch? These are your people, your inner circle, and they deserve your intentional investment. Don't let societal narratives diminish the profound power of these bonds. Embrace your friendships with the same passion and dedication you would a romantic relationship, because in doing so, you are not just enriching your social life – you are fundamentally enriching your entire existence. A woman with a thriving tribe is a woman who thrives, no matter what curveballs life throws her way, and that, darling, is the ultimate dating and life hack.
Questions about Single Life
Is being single bad for your health?
Older studies claiming a partnership benefit largely failed to separate marriage from social connection and income. More recent work finds the health signal is social support and financial stability, both of which single people can and do have.
How do I deal with pressure from family about being single?
Short, warm, repeated answers work better than justifications. A brief line delivered the same way each time removes the reward of a reaction, and explaining yourself in detail invites negotiation about a decision that is not up for negotiation.
How do you know if you are single by choice?
Ask whether you are declining specific people for specific reasons, or declining everyone in advance. Choice looks like turning down a real option; avoidance looks like never having one.
Keep reading
- Guide: Rebuilding Self-Worth: How to Stop Settling and Start Choosing
- Guide: The Intentional Dating Guide: How to Date with Purpose, Not Just Hope

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